


You Both Catch on Fire

by astralDeveloper, Bootspy, HSO Entry (Dragoon_sama)



Category: Homestuck
Genre: AU, M/M, Steampunk, Timey Wimey Antics
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2011-09-24
Updated: 2011-09-24
Packaged: 2017-10-24 00:32:14
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,579
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/256853
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/astralDeveloper/pseuds/astralDeveloper, https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bootspy/pseuds/Bootspy, https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dragoon_sama/pseuds/HSO%20Entry
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>As usual, when things go wrong for Karkat, they go very wrong.  Time travel is murder on the sleep schedule.</p>
            </blockquote>





	You Both Catch on Fire

**Author's Note:**

> HSO Collab Round entry for team Sol<3Kar. This is done by multiple authors/artists!
> 
> This isn't finished yet.

Music

"God dammit... FUCK YOU YOU STUPID CURSOR!"

That blinking little douchebag was mocking him, he could _feel_ it. Okay, _maybe_ Karkat had been sitting at his husktop for a little too long. Maybe the afterimages from his screen were etching a permanent relief against his eyelids. And maybe, just _maybe_ he was going a little bit shithive. Karkat was willing to admit that much to himself, but hell if that was going to stop him from coding a decent virus for once in his miserable life. He stared at his screen for a few minutes longer as if that would suddenly stuff a brilliant idea into his sponge through his eyes.

  
\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
YOU_BULGEMUNCHING_NUBSLURPER.~ATH [-] [x]  
\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
import universe U;  
import time T1;  
import time T2;  
import author Karkat; 

~ATH(U) {  
~ATH(Karkat) {  
EXECUTE(~ATH(FUCKTHIS){T1}EXECUTE(NULL));  
EXECUTE(~ATH(FUCKTHIS){T2}EXECUTE(NULL));  
} EXECUTE(NULL);  
} EXECUTE(NULL);  
THIS.DIE();

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------  


Staring didn't help. Every wriggler working on a difficult test question knew that staring _never_ helped, yet they did it anyway. Bullshitting answers until they stretched across the entire page, however... yeah, that _almost_ never helped either. Knowing full well that he was scraping the bottom of the barrel for ideas, Karkat added an extra variable anyway. "Let's see if you run properly _this_ time, you gargantuan piece of hoofbeast excrement."

His code ran. His husktop froze. "GOD FUCKING DAMNIT!"

"Geethe KK, you know it'th time for a break when you thtart thwearing at inanimate objectth."

"Har-dee-fucking-har Sollux, you wouldn't know when it's time for a break even if you were drooling all over your keyboard while your think pan flies off to frolic with a sky full of horrorterrors. Don't you dare lie and tell me you've never been frustrated with your own code even once."

"Have you ever theen me yelling at _my_ huthktop thcreen?"

"Fuck you. When did you even get here?"

“Oh, a few minuteth ago. You looked like you were about to fall athleep or fothilize yourthelf into a thtatue any thecond,” Sollux answered nonchalantly. He leaned over behind Karkat’s computer chair, encroaching on his personal space until he was resting his chin on top of the nubby-horned troll’s head. Completely ignoring Karkat’s warning growl, Sollux stretched out his long arms over each of his matesprit’s shoulders, reaching toward the keyboard with eager fingers. “Now let’th thee if I can fixth thith methh you’ve got here.”

“No! Leave my code alone, you condescending smart-ass bag of shit!” Karkat swatted at Sollux’s arms, successfully removing them from the vicinity of his husktop. Unfortunately for him, the action made absolutely no difference to a nubslurping cheater who could type with his brain, other than freeing up said arms to wrap around Karkat. The blunt horned troll would not let himself be distracted so easily. He struggled to worm himself away from Sollux’s grasp, reaching out to turn off his screen. It turned back on only a fraction of a second later with a faint flicker of red and blue light.

Off.

“Stop that!”

On.

“Nope.”

Off.

“Fucking-”

On.

“You’re going to burn out the thcreen, KK.”

Off.

“NO I’M NOT! FUCK YOU!”

On.

“Ehehehe.”

Off.

“ARRRGH!”

On.

This time Karkat’s finger ran into a tingly invisible wall. “You gigantic fucking bilgeswilling loadflinging nookstain!” Finally Karkat threw up his hands in defeat, then crossed his arms moodily across his chest with a childish scowl scrunching up his entire face.

The psionic’s face lit up in a smug grin. “I knew you’d thee reason eventually.”

“Fuckass,” Karkat grumbled. With a resigned huff of frustration, he slouched down in his chair, leaned his head back against Sollux’s neck and let his eyes drift closed for a second.

The next thing he knew, Karkat was sitting up in his recuperacoon with no recollection of how he got there. He blinked sleepily several times, trying unsuccessfully to keep the last remnants of a vague dream from slipping through his fingers. For some inexplicable reason there was a fragment of an old folk song stuck in his head, and the half memory was driving him crazy. How were the words supposed to go? They were right there on the tip of his tongue, if only he could remember the beginning. Something about a wriggler. Was he even getting the melody right? Glaring blankly at the wall in concentration, he hummed through a couple of bars before abandoning the effort.

“Hey thleepyhead!” Across the room, Sollux’s was grinning over at him from his half-reclined position in Karkat's computer chair. Karkat rolled his eyes at the positive smugness radiating from Sollux's every pore, even as he freed one hand of the clinging slime to flip off his matesprit. Of course the nookwiffer was pleased with himself. Not only did he get to one up Karkat with the stupid program, _again_ , but Karkat was distinctly aware of his own state of undress. At least the idiot had been nice enough not to dump him in the sooper with all his clothes on. But Karkat just knew Sollux would spend the next of forever teasing him about being put to bed like a wriggler.

Grumbling, Kakat pulled himself out of the recuperacoon in a trail of green. However necessary the calming sooper was against troll daymares (and Karkat tended toward them even despite the slime half the time), it always made a mess of the floor. He wiped the worst of it off with a towel left nearby for just that purpose, then shuffled his way to the ablution block to rinse off the rest of the residue and dress himself. He paused for a moment in front of the mirror, taking in the bright, candy red color of his eyes. It didn't matter when it was just Sollux and he, but… He slipped the dark contact lenses in anyway, the paranoia from his grubhood still burning strong. When he emerged in a cloud of steam, Sollux hadn't moved from his position in the chair, but he had turned so that he was facing the door as Karkat came into the room.

"Finally finished powdering your nothe, kk?" The bastard even had the audacity to prop his chin on his fist and give Karkat a once over. It was a bit flattering to his ego, but hell if he'd let Sollux know that. It took half the fun out of their exchanges.

"And here I was hoping you'd suffocated on your own inflated self-importance. How long was I out?"

Sollux waved a negligent hand. "Not too long. A couple hourth maybe. Now come over here and check thith out. I'm done fixthing your methh of an excuthe of a shitty viruth."

"Fuck you, there's no way you finished that so fast…" Despite himself, Karkat hurried his steps until he could see the computer screen.

His grey code was now interspersed with enough lines of red and blue subroutines and bifurcation commands to make his vision swim. “There are times," he began slowly, leaning his weight against the back of the chair to angle it and make it easier to catch Sollux's mismatched gaze. "And this is one of those times fuckass, when the bile of putrid disgust at your miserable existence rises tries to push itself out of my mouth in a veritable waterfall of city destroying proportions, and I wonder why I don't just suffocate you in your sleep."

“No need to thank me, KK. I’m sure it workth fine now.” Sollux caught hold of both of Karkat’s fists in mid swing as they tried to smash the widening smirk right off his face. “I’ve been dying to show you, but you thleep like a fucking rock whenever give yourthelf half a chanthe.” In other words, since Karkat so rarely let himself fall asleep so readily, Sollux had left him to his rest.

“Go hop out of an airlock on one foot with both hands jammed so far up your nook you can prod a hole into your bile pump, you pretentious loadstain.” Karkat figured that expressed his appreciation for Sollux's consideration.

“Only if you go firtht. Now, let’th thee it run, shall we?” Knowing that he didn’t actually have choice in the matter, Karkat merely emitted an ill-tempered snort. Using the grip he had on Karkat's fists, Sollux occupied himself with pulling Karkat down and half into his lap as the keyboard glowed with psionic energy.

With a triumphant little 'clack!', the code on the screen suddenly shifted. It crawled backward across the screen, catching the attention of the squabbling pair. "What the fuck did you do?" Karkat's voice held a thread of panic, as he wondered if they were about to have his husktop explode in their faces.

"I jutht fixthed your code. What the fuck wath it _thuppothed_ to do?"

"You mean you seriously just programmed a virus blind? Sollux, I _really_ want to kill you now." Karkat spared a moment to give Sollux a baleful look, and freed a hand to reach for the keyboard.

"Don't touch!"

The warning came too late. The text on the screen leapt out, wrapping itself around Karkat's wrist. He gave a half strangled yelp and tried to yank back out of its grasp. There was no way in hell text on a screen was supposed to be able to do that! Karkat had seen enough strange shit in his life, however, to treat it as the threat it was. Sollux's blue and red psionics lashed out to assist, prying at the writhing letters digging into Karkat's skin.

The next moment, Karkat thought the husktop really _had_ exploded. Instead it was the code bursting out of the screen to wrap in tendrils around the both of them. In the midst of the cacophony of yelling and swearing, Karkat felt an odd sensation around his wrist. He watched in horror as the text around his wrist unwrote itself backward, _taking his hand with it_. From there it spread rapidly up both Karkat and Sollux's bodies, and they had only a moment to exchange a panicked glance as the last of the code vanished, them along with it.

**\-------------**

Music

Karkat wasn't unfamiliar with the sensation of having every molecule of his body suddenly transport to another location. He could still remember with clarity the transporters of the game that had nearly destroyed the lives of him and his friends. That had always been akin to a half-second of cold unreality, before rematerialization brought the world back into sharp relief. This, however, was lasting much, much longer than a mere moment.

Just as he was considering letting panic destroy whatever was left of his mind in this strange limbo, Karkat became aware of reality closing in on him. Fast.

Before he could spare another thought, Karkat abruptly found himself with a body again. It was attached to a head that was throbbing from its sudden collision with another, equally hard object. An object that was groaning and swearing underneath him, Karkat noted.

Prying open eyes that were watering from the dim, smoky lighting that filled the room, Karkat found himself face to face with….well, himself. Sure he was dressed like a total fucking tool, but the widening eyes set in the gaunt face were the same one that Karkat saw in the mirror every day. On that note, he hauled his fist back, preparing to beat the living shit out of his probable future self for being such a fucking asshole in _every fucking way_.

Immediately red and blue psionics surrounded his arm, preventing him from smashing the smug (or confused) expression right off his double's face. "Fuck you, let me go Sollux! I want to teach this fuckass how not to be such a gratingly moronic waste of oxygen!" A distant part of Karkat's brain was relieved that his matesprit appeared to be unharmed as well, but it was overridden by the flush of anger and residual terror he was feeling.

"Ah…" Sollux's voice was surprisingly hesitant. "Well, the thing ith, I am not Thollux. However, he probably ith."

Karkat twisted around, grimacing as his arm pulled uncomfortably in the unmoving mental hold, and saw Sollux sprawled on his back, Sollux hunched over him wheezing softly. The Sollux on his back had one glowing hand thrust out in Karkat's direction, obviously the one holding him still. The Sollux on top had gotten the other's knee in his gut, and was currently trying to catch his breath, pale yellow tears leaking from under his glasses. He had, however, his own glowing hand around the sprawled clone's neck in an obvious threat.

"What the bloody hell is going on here?" The voice broke the mild tableau, and Karkat turned back to the troll he was straddling. His (future Karkat? If that was true, then Karkat was fully prepared to sickle himself in the face to ever prevent him from becoming the bulgewipe staring up at him) brows were drawn down in a familiar scowl, and his candy red eyes were flicking between Karkat and the two Solluxes. Well, if Karkat had had any doubt that it was him, the mutant color confirmed it.

Sollux (and Karkat mentally dubbed the other one the goggle-wearing asshole, since he obviously wasn't _his_ Sollux) caught his breath enough to cough out, "Hurt him, and I will end you."

The goggle-wearing asshole didn't move, but replied calmly, "I wath not planning on hurting him, merely preventing him from thtriking my friend." He tilted his head back a bit, gesturing with his chin toward Karkat. "Let uth jutht all calm down, and I will releathe your companion."

"Just let me go already, asshole. My arm is going numb," Karkat grumbled, feeling suddenly tired as the adrenaline drained out of his system. There was obviously something very wrong with the situation, but he was too irritated to hash it out.

The electric buzz faded away, leaving his arm to drop loosely to his side. He shoved at the other's chest hard as he hefted himself to his feet, and heard the satisfying thunk of skull meeting the floor. Karkat snorted softly, ignored the quiet growl and glare aimed up at him, and strode over to where Sollux had rolled off to the side and was rubbing at his stomach. Sollux peered up at him over the tops of his glasses, worry pinching his face.

Karkat reached out a hand expectantly. "Come on, fuckass. You can't be hurting that bad." He just wanted to get away from their doubles and take a minute to reorient himself, and he wasn't about to leave Sollux alone with them. They obviously weren't in his hive, their doubles were dressed in the _strangest_ style outfits Karkat had ever seen (and he'd seen some strange ones when Kanaya got creative), and even the air just _felt_ wrong.

"Hang on one bleeding minute. Who in the heavens do you think you are?" It was Karkat's double again. Was his voice always that irritating, or was it just because Karkat's self loathing was being shoved in his face in the most obvious manner? Sollux still teased him about being his own kismesis, even though he couldn't interact with his past or future selves anymore. He had never had the opportunity to meet one face to face, though, and Karkat found he did not appreciate the occasion.

He ignored the question as Sollux's warm hand slipped into his, and Karkat hauled his matesprit to his feet. If he squeezed a bit too tightly, Sollux was clinging just as hard. When Sollux was standing next to him, Karkat turned to face the other pair. The goggled-asshole had moved over next to the other asshole, leaving a wide stretch of empty space between them. The silence stretched into the minutes, and the air vibrated from wary tension as neither party moved.

Finally the goggled-asshole broke the staring contest. "Are you fellowth from the empire perhapth?"

"You bloody twit, they would hardly say if it were so," the other-asshole muttered, crossing his arms across his white shirt. "Besides, what would such an obvious ploy benefit those boors at the palace?"

Warm breath brushed his ear as Sollux leaned his head down next to Karkat's. "Okay kk, I'll bite. Where the hell are we? It'th obviouthly not the patht, and if we change _that_ much in the nextht thweep or tho I'll jutht put uth both out of our mithery now."

"Killing yourself isn't the only solution you fuckwit," Karkat snapped lowly, ignoring the fact that he'd already harbored the thought himself. "And leave me the fuck out of your black fantasy. I have enough to do keeping myself flushed for your pathetic ass."

"You like my ath and you know it. But keep your mind out of the bucket, Vantath." Sollux only called him by his last name when he was really on edge, so Karkat bit back the snarl that wanted to escape. Bantering with Sollux was only a distraction anyway.

"Speak up, friends." The word, coupled with the other-asshole's dark expression, didn't _sound_ particularly friendly to Karkat. "I feel a fleeting discomfort at your private counsel. How is it you came to appear in this place as you did? Answer swiftly, or it will go the worse for you!" If that was supposed to intimidate them, Karkat only felt the usual amount of irritation when blatant stupidity paraded itself in front of him like a two bit circus.

Letting his gaze travel around the sparsely furnish room, Karkat spotted to door to the side. He didn't bother answering as he started for it, confident that Sollux would cover his back from the other psychic's powers if needed. There was no way he'd stand there and let himself be interrogated by a couple of pale imitations that dressed like they were straight out of one of Kanaya's time period romance novels.

"Halt! Where are you going?"

Still ignoring him, Karkat slipped out the open door. Sollux was right behind him like a silent shadow, content in following his lead for now. The light spilled in a half circle just outside the door, while the stretch of hallway remained shadowed in darkness. He could just make out a staircase leading down at the end. It seemed as good an option as staying put.

Karkat almost missed the words over the sound of his and Sollux's footsteps, but the hallway amplified the echo enough to make the voices from the pair left behind audible.

"It is like talking to a particularly obstinate mirror."

"I feel thuch painth daily, Bracur."

"May your rustpan rot and leak from your every orifice. What fools we would be if we let them leave thusly."

Sollux snorted, indicating he had heard the exchange as well. "Did you actually have a plan, or are we jutht going to wander around until the dorky duo catcheth up? Becauthe a plan would be a really good thing right now."

Karkat let out an irritated gust of breath, trailing a hand on the wall as he started down the stairs in a clatter. "Yeah, because I obvious know exactly what happened, have five fucking contingency plans lined up and ready for execution, and even had time to lock my goddamn door behind us. What the fuck do you _think_ Sollux!" He tried to bite back his anger, but half of the fault of the shitty predicament they were in was because of Sollux. Hell, more than half, really. If the bulgemuncher hadn't of butted his stupid nose into Karkat's business, Karkat would have been able to figure out what had gone wrong with the code _eventually_.

Obviously thinking along the same lines, Sollux spoke again as the bottom of the stair case loomed. "Before you thtart, I get that I was thupid to athume you could code your way out of a thpace port with a lighted runway and the autopilot activated—"

"If you didn't want me to _start_ , you have a sucky way of showing it," Karkat shoved open the door at the bottom of the stairwell, striding out into the open air outside.

"—But what the fuck wath…the…oh shit…." Sollux's growl trailed off into an awestruck whisper as the pair emerged into the glow of moonlight.

The building they had come from was still nowhere near the ground level, stairs leading down from the landing they had stopped on to the ground below. As such, the city stretched out before them, crowded, smoky, and almost as alien as pink skinned creatures once were. Fancifully shaped buildings jutted out at impossible heights, steam pouring from every corner of the steel and concrete vista. Dotted in the sky above the structures were strange, flying vehicles, some short and squat, other sleek and graceful as they glided along.

It looked like a hive of insects disturbed by a sudden foot crashing into the midst of their home.

It looked nothing like the quiet, neat, _clean_ world they had left.

Closing his mouth took an effort, and it was only then that Karkat realized the metal railing was digging into his palms where he'd gripped it too tight, the shock of what they were seeing shaking him to his core. He'd been prepared for a lot of things, but nothing quite so strange as this city of metal and smoke.

Karkat and Sollux exchanged a look full of dazed wonder. What the fuck were they supposed to do now?


End file.
